January 18, 2011

shelter from the storm.

We don’t like to talk much about it, but—
we all have a lot more in common
than the weather.

The Chill is here and we are...miserable.
Manhattan and its surrounding boroughs are iced over,
(the way our insides have felt for a while now).

Because life keeps happening whether the weather
(whether we like it or not),
and we can’t see now that eventually it will all just melt away.

So for now we seek comfort where we can
no matter what it means—
even if it doesn’t mean anything at all.

Makes me long desperately for spring.

January 6, 2011

How To Strike It Rich.

On Tuesday night a friend gave me a lottery ticket. I wasn’t in any way aware of the Mega Millions Lottery as I’m someone who doesn’t believe much in luck. I’ve already accepted the fact that if it does indeed exist, it makes a distinct point to stay as far away from me as possible. My friend, well he (and apparently everyone else) was incredibly excited about the drawing. Later I was watching news stories showing helicopter views of people standing in lines at convenience stores that stretched around the corner for blocks. I heard about pools that had been set up among families and in offices and universities. What a special thing it was to see so many people take a stand against the pessimistic tone of our everyday lives and take a chance to believe in the idea that something so exceptional could actually happen to them.

I mean, just look at Ted Williams. Living by the side of a freeway in Columbus, Ohio holding nothing but a sign in an attempt to tell the world (and anyone who would listen) that he mattered. Suddenly he’s on every major news network in the country. Bam! Just like that. Everything. Changes.

Up until eleven o’clock on Tuesday night we were bound together as a nation by the exhilarating thought that despite the odds, someone, somewhere, was going to have to win this thing. I carried that ticket around in my pocket, and for approximately three hours was reminded of what hope felt like.

Of course it ended the way high hopes tend to, with a bit of inevitable disappointment. When you hear the winning numbers come through and see you don’t have a single one, you tell yourself: well, I knew it wasn’t going to happen anyway. You shrug off your chance of a lifetime and go back to accepting life the way it is. You finish out your week trying to forget all about those dreams you were having about what you were going to do with $380 million (Paris apartment! Pay off student loan! Maserati! Oh, and give to Oxfam, of course). You get a bit down when you start to feel that nothing ever changes at the exact moment a new year starts and change is what you’re desperately seeking most of all. You vow never to get involved in the lottery ever again and to find a new job, a new lover, a new apartment maybe, anything to feel better. Reports of more snow? Jesus Christ things are bleak.

But then you see Ted Williams all cleaned up on the “Today Show” talking about how long he waited for his second chance, and you remember that there are two people out there in the great states of Washington and Idaho who did, in fact, actually win.

One day it could be me, you think as you quicken your step. One day.

And so hope endures and you realize eventually that perhaps when it comes to hitting the jackpot of your life it could be anything, really. Truth is we are given winning tickets all the time, Mega Chances that could change everything.

I suppose the trick is simply to be smart enough to know when to open your eyes, reach out and cash them in.