So it's here. Apparently. We've already gained that hour which doesn't feel much like a gain at all (can someone give me a few more, please?) and its dark around 3PM and by 6 it feels as though surely all stores and restaurants in all the city should all be closed and you should be getting ready for bed, poised to start brushing your teeth.
Needless, getting off of the subway today and walking towards the office I was half asleep thinking about daylight and savings and time and how it's all just a stupid tradition that happens every year (and we don’t know why) that we’re just OK with for no particular reason and have incorporated into our lives like the mundane chores of breathing and eating (“Time to turn back time? Oh, right right, just let me finish my coffee dear...”) And speaking of coffee, (as I do frequently), my thoughts of turning back time a la Cher (no one in New York ever seems to notice or care when you sing to yourself in public) were interrupted by bright flashes of red that caught my eye. What? And then flashes of green. People were carrying these colors in their hands as though there were a part of their briefcase or purse or and extension of their hand itself.
Could it be? No certainly it could not be. But then, upon closer inspection of a woman who blew past me, it was The Truth - Starbucks holiday cups are here.
And that's only the cup we're talking about. Around the corner I entered the store in need of my morning fix and I saw (who could help not to?) that the whole store was an explosion of red, with shelves upon shelves of holiday flasks, mugs and other festive paraphernalia. I looked around at all the happy red-cup-holding-New-Yorkers in desperate concern - can't we even get to Thanksgiving first?
Apparently not. It's November 8th and I'm already drinking Christmas Blend (smooth and spicy) out of a grandiosely decorated grande cup! "Pass the cheer," it implores me in white loopy writing. "Bequeath a wreath" it goes on to say, the words peeking out from under the bright green sleeve marked 60% post-consumer fiber. CAUTION: VERY HOT! How about a CAUTION: HOLIDAYS MUCH FURTHER AWAY THAN THEY APPEAR.
And that's the problem. Because holidays aren't always holidays. When you're a kid or when life is just swell, sure, you feel more than happy to "pass the cheer," while drinking from your snowflake adorned coffee cup. But once you get older and things in your life start to fall to shit, you can't help but feel annoyed at the early pressure to be happy. Bequeath a wreath? Are they out of their minds? I just had a man elbow me out of the way while getting on a downtown 1 train leaving me with that look of are-you-serious-we're-all-trying-to-get-to-work-here-too-you-know, so the only thing I'm looking to bequeath at the moment is a fast hard kick to a stomach.
But the truth is I'm not ready to be happy or excited about anything. I just can’t do it. Because the truth is you just can’t be when your life gets turned upside down and inside out and you have no idea which way you're heading. You lose someone you love (like I did), or you lose your job or your boyfriend or the thing you've been working so hard for so long to get, (poof!) and then sitting there drinking Christmas Blend you don't feel anything but the hot memories of a simpler time gone by getting caught in your throat.
Dammit.
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