“Are you here with someone?” he asked. He was stuttering and a bit drunk and in a bar crowded with so many people I really had to wonder how it was that he’d spotted me.
“Yes,” I lied. I know it’s a callous thing to do, but sometimes you just have to pick your battles when you’re found alone at a bar while your friend has abandoned you for the bathroom and a stranger approaches.
“Are you here with someone great?” he swayed slightly has he spoke.
“Uh yeah he’s pretty great,” I said. Why not? I mean, if I were going to be anywhere with someone wouldn’t they’d have to be pretty great?
“Is he as great a guy as you deserve, or,” he said and paused for effect. “Do you think I might be better?” He smiled slowly and blinked slowly and I had to give him credit for making his case as well as he was considering he looked to be about ready to topple over.
I checked my watch.
“I’d say he’s about as great as I deserve, yes,” I said suddenly wishing this person we were talking about actually existed.
“Okay,” he nodded, slowly, looking satisfied. “As long as you say so then I guess there’s nothing more I can do.”
“Afraid so,” I said.
He shrugged and stuck out his hand through the fog of his alcoholic overload to shake my own. It was as though we’d just had a sort of interview for a job he tried his hardest for, but had to now accept that he wasn’t the right man for the position.
“Really really great to meet you,” he said. “Let me buy you a drink.”
“Sure,” I said knowing what was inevitably going to happen next.
He never came back.
Of all the men in all the bars in all the city…
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