My friend just had her first one-night stand. She said that apparently the price of getting laid by her is a few 2 dollar PBR's and a taco at 3AM. A “seemingly amazing guy” who drove her home in the morning said he'd call and take her on a real date. So far, no call.
So she asked me for my advice. Now I may not have any clue on how to run my own love life. I may be someone who always likes the wrong people – guys who lead me on, guys who treat me badly, guys who cheat on me, guys who are in relationships. I may not have any idea why this is or how I might go about fixing it. I may be single and alone at 40 with cats, still on the upper east side swigging martini's every night and showing up drunk at all of my friends weddings. Regardless of all of this, other people always seem to come to me for my advice.
She talked about how her and the “seemingly amazing guy” walked around for hours talking about everything and nothing at the same time. She told me how she had never felt such an instantaneous attraction or connection with anyone before in her life. And one thing led to another and the next day after he brought her home, she knew. She knew in her gut the way girls know in their guts that he wasn’t going to call.
We go home with people knowing they’re not going to call because we’re all looking for something and we don’t know how to find it. We think they see something in us that no one else has ever seen. But there’s a difference in looking at a thing and seeing a thing. And people tell lies. They tell them easier than they should and more than they should and we believe them, even though we know we shouldn’t.
So I tell her among other things that there are no answers. I tell her that sometimes things just are what they are in the end no matter how you feel, and there’s no changing that. I tell her that a one night stand is a one night chance to figure out who you are and if you ever want to be a one night anything to anyone ever again. I tell her I’m no good with advice.
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